Well to day has been another adventure in my life, me becoming a better version of my self if going well. and also feels good, but then there is the slight let down. The thought of disappointing people that mater to me, and not living up to what i promised.
It’s a hard realization, knowing that I fucked up. And never took into an account for my actions.
But the hardest part is, I really let down the one person that means the world to me.
And know having time hurt cause of all my fake promises and my empty I’m sorry’s.
I’m sitting here writing this and, thinking about the good. I still have in me, and my focus and drive. The type of drive that one so craves to live.
I know I have a lot of healing to achieve and a lot of forgiveness to ask for. But perhaps in time this can be achieved.
I would only hope that as time passes, that there can be forgiveness given.
But I also feel there is a reality that, that one forgiveness will never happen. As there is resentment towards me.
That resentment is what kills me deeply, and I hate my self for doing that.
But all I can do is learn and find forgiveness in my self and be happy with my self.